I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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