it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
