For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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