I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
