And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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