I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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