woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
