drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Randomize
