just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
