she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
