i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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