can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
