Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
