I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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