does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
