Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
