What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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