Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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