I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Mom said you looked used
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
