Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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