Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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