My hand turned me down
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
