My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
