yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
