quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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