What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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