It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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