you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
