y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
