Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
