Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
