Will you blow on my dice?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
