my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
