okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
