the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
