i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
