it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I could fuck to npr.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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