random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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