We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
