I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
