So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
