I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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