I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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