Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
