idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize