have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
