in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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