Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
