she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
