I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
