Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
