i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
