he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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