he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize