So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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