fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
