Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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