You're so nebulous sometimes
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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