do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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