I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize