respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
