I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
