....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
