Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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